im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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