Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
