I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I party with great urgency now.
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