Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
