i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
