Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
