That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
