Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
