I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
