whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
