She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
