Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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