Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
