I hate your face
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
They should really pass out barf bags in church
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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