sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
