Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
