I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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