why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
