After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
