Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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