Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
