you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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