I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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