I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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