I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
