adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
