so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
