drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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