Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Two words: nipple clamps
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