New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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