I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
