careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
