Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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