My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
