remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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