Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
