Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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