ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
