make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
