Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
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