I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
