I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
