Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
