okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
