Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
