my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
