it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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