She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
