She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
