What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
