You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
